Family Worship Night (Muddy's Way)
I now can't imagine anything more boring and stilted and stupifying than the way the WTS instructs people to train and teach their children.
We're to sit at a table with one of their horrid, boring, dry, frightening publications. Read a paragraph, look up a scripture or scripture snippet, then ask the question.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Kids get cranky, hate the study, mom and dad don't even want to do it. Too awful. Too boring. Too regimented. Too Watchtower-y and smarmy.
How can learning anything about the Bible -- oop, excuse me, I mean learning anything in this manner that the GB says the Bible says -- be in any way appealing?
Well, it isn't.
In the shower the other day, I imagined a whole scenario…. hope you don't mind indulging me… :)
...
First of all, a visit from an elder. "Sister Muddy! We missed you at the meeting the other night. Hope you're doing all right?"
Sister Muddy (SM): "Couldn't be better! Had a great evening with my family!"
Elder Nosy/Busybody/Insincere-Trying-to-be-Sincere: "Oh, so all of you were fine then? Nobody was sick or anything?"
SM: "Not at all! We're all doing great. We had a wonderful evening doing Family Worship!"
Elder Schmuck (his name is interchangeable with so many types of names…): "But… surely you know this was the Service meeting night meeting?"
SM: "Oh yes, of course. But our family gets too bored at the meeting. We've decided to read the Bible on our own and talk about it."
Elder Aghast: "But, but… surely you know … (blah, blah, blah… can't make myself type out the drivel and pap and schtuff he'd say… but we all can imagine it!)
SM: Let me tell you about our Family Worship night. We don't even call it that because it sounds way too formal and regulated/regimented. Totally freaks everybody out, you know?
SM (continuing): The family and I will pick out a story from the Bible, we'll read it from the New Living Translation, or The Message Bible, or Common English Bible -- you know, something that actually sounds good when you read it and seems friendly and appealing. Or we'll pick up a nice little Bible story book from a Christian book store, has awesome little pictures with fluffy clouds and pouffy sheep and smiling shepherds… no violence or bloodshed or people being clobbered and stabbed and pushed off buildings or drowned while others stand by and laugh… we'll read one of those nice fluffy stories which our little children love so much better and which doesn't scare them to death and give them nightmares and pee the bed and cry for the light to be left on, and let me tell you what happens after that.
SM: Well, Dad (my husband) decided he'd be Balaam's donkey and let the kids ride him around the living room. The kids had a great time! We were all laughing and wrestling around and little Bobby got to be the angel. Then Suzie wanted a turn. We all got into it.
The other night Daddy decided to be Goliath and Bobby was young David. That was quite a fun night! "Goliath" kept falling down and knocking the coffee table over, which kept the kids in stitches, even though they were supposed to be the mighty Philistine army in the background. Ha, I bet they never forget these type of evenings and stories for the rest of their lives.
We made some popcorn and pretended to be stranded on an island after our boat crashed near the isle of Malta. Suzie pretended to be the snake which bit Paul. She sure had fun sneaking around under the table legs while we all pretended not to notice her.
And did I tell you what we did when we learned about Jonah?
Elder Programmed Propoganda/No-Fun-At-All: "Really, this is most unconventional. The Society does not advocate teaching your children without using the publications, nor does it encourage missing meetings to do your own personal study of the Bible…"
SM: "Oh yes, do we know all about that. But we're finding out that we're actually learning MORE this way, and even discovering new things, interesting things, amazing things, and the kids are actually enjoying it!
We've discovered Christian FREEDOM and the fact that we are all individually accountable to God. This is extremely important to us as a family. Even the NWT says that each one of must stand alone before God. And that each one of us is either accused or excused by our actions and conduct.
We've learned that we are not to put our trust in nobles nor in earthing man, by whom no one can get saved.
We've learned that organized religion is a snare and a racket. Hm. Seems I've heard that somewhere before…
Anyway, we've also learned that there is one mediator between God and man, who is Jesus. And that it is only through him that we might be saved.
In short, Elder Society-Man/Good-Old-Boy/Company-Man, we are discovering that we don't need the regimented, regulated, man-made religious body of the WTS to dictate what our family should learn. We are, for the first time, really enjoying our lives and our fun, happy, playful moments - with and without the Bible - and without the frightening scare tactics of the WTS and its program of fear, guilt, and never-ending busy-work to grind us down.
We can also enjoy our family moments without worrying that an elder might start talking at the meeting about things like oral sex, bestiality, or necrophilia! for pete's sake, in front of our little children.
So, if you'll excuse me, our family was just about to read Matthew 23 and have some fun with that. Maybe you'd like to join us? I'm sure we could find a part for you to play...
…
Hee hee. I had quite a nice shower imagining all this.
:)
